


The Towel

by orphan_account



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Apocalypse, April Fools, Blood, Death, Dip's balls got kicked up his ass, F/M, Grave Dancing, Last 3 or 4 paragraphs are my favorite, Necrophilia, No one likes Dipper, Orgy, Pie throwing, Squidward Tentacles - Freeform, Steam roller, Suicide, Swearing, Vomiting, bitches be crazy, dick dancing, interpretive dance, laughing, like nothing happened, make it rain, messed up summary, not really - Freeform, she came back to life immediatey, spelling errors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-01
Updated: 2015-04-01
Packaged: 2018-04-08 08:09:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4297167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eh, Imma put a warning because there's cussing and... pinecest? I guess. Fake pinecest. There xD.</p><p>Shoot, nevermind I finished it so I rate it 14+ or 16+ idk.<br/>• hinting at sexuality<br/>•A bit of suicide and exploding of the human body.<br/>•Swears.<br/>• vomit<br/>• Abuse (no one likes Dipper in this book)<br/>• Makes no fucking sense whatsoever.<br/>• Enjoy!</p><p>On second thought let's just call it 18+ yeah... I got a bit carried away there... me and my fucked up imagination. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Towel

Mabel and Dipper Pines had just returned from the pool. They were both 30 and were visiting their parents for a night. "That was fun, huh?" Dipper commented.

"Duh Dip." Mabel replied. Even as she aged, she didn't mature much. They both went into the bathroom closet to get towels. Mabel quickly swiped the light blue towel.

Dipper frowned playfully. "So this is how it's going ta be?" He said. Mabel screamed like a child as she ran to her room, jumping on her bed. It felt so good to act like a kid again.

Dipper, still wet from the pool jumped on her bed, causing it to creak under the weight of the adults. He snatched the towel. "Dippeeer." Mabel whined. He held the towel high above his head as Mabel tried to climb and get it. "Cone on, Dipper! I'm so fucking wet! I'm dripping over here!" Mabel complained, reaching for the towel.

"It's too soft Mabel!" Dipper yelled, cuddling with the towel.

"Just give it to me!" Mabel whined loudly. "Yeeaaah! Wooo!" She cheered as she reached the towel.

"Not for long." Grunted Dipper before he tackled Mabel gently on the bed. It creaked at they played tug of war on the bed.

Their parents, sit there petrified. They stay still. Not knowing what to do.  
"Dippeeer"  
"Come on Dipper, I'm so fucking wet I'm dripping over here!"  
"It's too soft Mabel!"  
"Just give it to me!"  
"Yeeaah! Wooo!"  
And the sound of a creaky bed.

That's what freaked them out. As Dipper and Mabel came down stairs, all sweaty Mabel said. "We really need to do twin time more often."

"A-greed." Dipper nodded. He glanced at his stressed out looking parents. He waved a hand in front of his mom's face. "Uh... hello?"

"No more twin time!" His dad shouted before getting up. Dipper hardly had time to cock an eyebrow before he got punched in the face.

"Dad!" Mabel yelled.

"What the HELL?" Dipper yelled, holding his face. "What did I do!?"

"Don't think we didn't hear you, both of you!" Dad yelled.

"Hear what now?" Mabel asked.

"You know what!" Dad yelled.

"Tug of war?" Dipper asked. "Or was it when we were in the pool?"

"Tug of war?" Dad questioned.

"Yeah, we were playing it upstairs." Mabel blinked.

"Yeah, Mabel was so wet. No matter how much she yelled though, I was keeping the towel." Dipper said. Dad wiped his brow and sighed in relief. Mom did the same, relaxing and snapping back to the real world.

"Also, me and Dippy have been in a romantic relationship for years. Kissing, sex, everything. The whole shebang." Mabel said. "Welp, bye!"

Mabel dragged Dipper out of the house. "What the hell Mabel!" Dipper shouted, vomiting a little on the front lawn. "Why the hell would you tell them that? We're going to be fucking banned from here forever."

"We'll just run away to gravity falls." Mabel smiled, kissing Dipper's cheek. Dipper pushed away and vomited into a nearby bush.

Mabel laughed hysterically. "Dipper? What's the date today?"

Dipper gasped for air after vomiting. "The first."

"And what does that date mean?" She asked him, giggling.

"Fuck you." He grumbled.

"Not so hasty Dipper. This was a prank, remember?" Mabel said, pulling him inside. Dipper glared at her. This is the angriest he's ever been at her. He could almost hit her.

"APRIL FOOLS!" Mabel yelled as she jumped inside. "I pranked, mom, dad AND Dipper!"

Dipper rolled his eyes and shook his head in disapproval, wiping a bit of vomit off his chin. "Bitches be crazy." He mumbled before sighing.

He got punched in the face by dad. "You are never to do this again!" He yelled sternly at Mabel, tears welling up in his eyes.

"Ok, ok geez. We're like, 30 we can take care of ourselves." ((coz they sure act like it)) Mabel said. "Either way, bye Dipper." She kicked his crotch before skipping off. His mom got up and punched him in the jaw. Suddenly, Wendy showed up in a sparkling dress and punched him in the gut. They all kicked him on the floor, had an orgy, then laughed about it. They laughed until their stomachs exploded and Mabel hung herself over their graves. Then her stomach exploded. A rain of guys sloshed everywhere. Her heart landed on her bro's grave. That's when she realized. "That was a bitch move"

She fell asleep, then they all had an orgy the next day. They never died. Except Dipper. He got his balls kicked so far up his ass that the doctors said they cracked his skull and mushed his brain. They still used his body though. Even after the body started dying, they kept his dick preserved. It is now on display in the Pine's family household.

R.I.P   
Dipper Pines  
He died.

Everyone started doing interpretive dance. Following the steps of squidward tentacles. Afterwards, they felt horny so they had another orgy. They dug up Dipper's body and threw it in the woodchipper. They then mowed the lawn over him. The neighbor lent them a steamroller for the occasion. They rolled over his body. He was now one with the lawn. Mabel grabbed his preserved cock and taped to her head as she danced like a ballerina. The ground before her mushed around as she stepped on the mess of blood and flesh that was once Dipper. "I am. The tellytubby." She told herself as she whipped her hair, dancing on Dipper's corpse. She grabbed some of the corpse and made it rain. Everyone danced. Everyone was happy. Until Dipper's dickless ghost appeared. They all killed him. Then they danced again! Theu bought endless pies and throw at face. Good pies. Also the pies were bricks. And poison. Also grenades. They all had fun masterbating to the apocalypse.

The END

I don't know. I just shit on the paper and called it words. You're welcome.


End file.
